When I look back on my early and mid-twenties, I often wonder if I did the right thing.
I get Facebook FOMO when I see someone who took time off to live on a beach in Thailand or teach abroad in Italy.
The truth is, I’m jealous.
In a small way, I regret not doing something spontaneous.
Your Twenties Are The Time To Take Risks
I mean, when is a better time in your life to just uproot and go on an adventure?
You have your health in your twenties and likely no kids.
You can live on less and stay up late.
One could argue that your twenties are actually the best time in your life to take risks.
It’s Totally A Thing To Take Time Off In Your Twenties
Dropping everything to go backpack around Europe for a few months isn’t abnormal.
You could easily explain the gap in your resume to a future employer and they would commend you, not judge you.
People get it.
If you wait until your forties to take a break, not so much.
You’ve had some sort of mid-life crisis at that point.
Conventional Advice Says Don’t Waste Your Twenties
Conventional advice for twenty-somethings encourages a decade of new experiences and adventure.
Date different people, move around, take risks before it’s too late, they say.
Apparently, people give twenty-somethings really poor money advice too.
Your Twenties Are Not A Time to Screw Around
(Says The Book That Inspired My Twenties)
Early into my twenties I found Dr. Meg Jay’s Book, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter – And How to Make the Most of Them Now
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This book was my guiding light for the past five years.
I only read it once, but once was enough.
Whenever I start to doubt my decisions to get serious with my career and settle down, this book pops into my head and brings me back to reality.
The basic premise of the book is that your twenties are not a time to screw around. They are a time to lay the foundation for the life you want in your thirties.
It says you shouldn’t waste time in dead-end relationships or in jobs that don’t get you to the next step.
It encourages you to think wisely about your career choices, to choose safe relationships, and to essentially, start settling down young.
I took that message to heart and worked my butt off in my twenties.
I spent hours in the office balancing spreadsheets, attending networking functions, and learning to hack my career.
I paid off debt and saved like a mad-woman. I recently hit a huge net worth milestone and hit $200k by 27.
I also have a great and rewarding career. I’ve been blessed with new opportunities for growth and advancement.
Some could say I went into twenties beast-mode.
Will I Regret Not Taking Bigger Risks In My Twenties?
Sometimes I feel a twinge of regret for not living a little more dangerously in my twenties.
I spent arguably the healthiest years of my life with horrible posture in a cubicle.
Maybe I should run off to Thailand before it’s too late.
Pick A Goal and Make It Your North Star
Whenever I start to waver or question my decisions, I go back to my goal.
Dr. Jay’s book actually helped me see this all more clearly.
It doesn’t matter what your goal is or even if your goal changes over time.
All that matters is that you have set a goal and that you’re moving aggressively towards it.
I use my goal to make decisions. It helps me avoid decision paralysis and deal with regret.
If I’m making a big decision, I ask, “Does this move get me closer to my goal? It doesn’t? OK, then moving on.”
If I spend a year in Thailand, I’m one year further away from my goal.
So I’m going to stop whining and be happy with the decisions I’ve made thus far.
How to Make the Most of Your Twenties
To make the most of your twenties, I recommend the following advice:
Focus on earning money and gaining experience, not finding your passion. Many people that that you should “find your passion” in your 20s as if there is some perfect job or role out there that is exactly perfect for you and your personality. The sad truth is that you often have to build the perfect job, you can’t just find it somewhere.
What this means is that you should focus on finding things that are easy for you, but hard for others. If you can find this type of work, then you can be compensated well without having to struggle.
This also means that you should constantly be trying to improve your skill set so that you can become indispensable in your role and so that you can earn a higher income.
Save money. Your 20s form the foundation for the rest of your adult. Because of this, you should seek to save at least some money (through 401(k)s, HSAs and IRAs so you can reap tax benefits, if possible) so that you can give compound interest plenty of time to do its work. The more you save while you’re younger, the more time you give the market to multiply your money many times over.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You should try to set up healthy habits and tendencies in your 20s that you can carry with you for the rest of your life, but make sure not to be too strict and harsh on yourself. Don’t forget to have fund and make memories. After all, your 20s is the time in your life when you’ll have the most freedom over your time while you don’t have too many responsibilities to worry about.
Find a healthy balance between being disciplined, saving money, and practicing habits, while also allowing yourself to cut loose, have some fun, and make memories.
Do you feel you wasted your twenties or did you beast them? Does this resonate with you?
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I love this post so much. The Defining Decade is one of my all-time favorite books. Ironically, I actually discovered the book while browsing through Barnes and Noble on my 20th birthday. I’ve read it once and skimmed through it several more times over the years. I’m 22 now.
This post is funny becauseI’m actually living in Thailand right now, haha. I’m teaching English here and will be leaving in March after having spent one year here. The biggest thing I’ve learned is to spend your twenties working on your identity capital (as The Defining Decade suggests).
The problem is most people think the only way to build their self-worth and identity capital is to work a traditional job. Many of the English teachers here in Thailand act as if being in Thailand is some alternate reality and void. They think they’re “delaying their life” because they aren’t in an office back home.
That’s not the way to think about it. As you said, pick a goal and make it your North Star. Pursue it vigorously.
If you ever think about coming to Thailand, let me know! This place is kind of awesome!
Ahh yes – the exact comment I needed on this post! I think your blog name says everything “Rebel With A Plan.” I bet there is a way I can find my freedom and keep saving towards FI too. Just need to dig a little deeper and figure it out! Thanks!
Absolutely love this post. I have not read the book you mentioned regarding your twenties but I might pick it up. I’ve dedicated the past 3.5 years laying the foundation for my 30s, 40s and beyond. I have a strong probability to escape the ‘rate race’ before my 30th birthday.
Once escaping the rat race and dependency of a ‘day job’ I will have the luxuary of traveling when I want and spending my time in any way I please. Sacrificing 7-10 years to live my life for my final 30-60 years seems like a no brainer.
I feel sorry for my friends who are struggling in their mid and late twenties. I do accept the occasional happy hour or night out invite but have not made it a habit. Something tells me, they will regret some of those nights out while they still live paycheck to paycheck for the next few decades. I can only imagine the stress that will be added to their plate once kids start showing up.
Your twenties are a time for going ‘beast-mode’ and building a strong foundation for the rest of your life. Keep up the work Julie; you are doing it right.
Very true and thanks for the reinforcement! I think I just need to kick it into high-gear the next few years and really shorten the timeline. Good luck in your FI pursuits as well. You’re doing all the right things!
Wow. I am 25 and I am *exactly* at this point. Saving like a mad person. 5 years seems like a long time. I often wonder if I die tomorrow, will I be happy with my accomplishments? Saving up that much money for FIRE seems like an impossible goal. Thank you so much for posting this. It brings renewed confidence in my goals and plans!
Thanks! I think I needed to write this to motivate myself too. The beginning of the post is how I truly feel/felt about it but by the end, I reminded myself why I’m doing what I’m doing.
Julie – I love the essence of this post! You can either A) Screw around in your 20’s and have a few years of fun and then force yourself to work your a$$ off to catch up over the next few decades, or you can B) work your butt off during your 20s and then set yourself up to enjoy the heck out of the rest of your life!
I’m looking forward to my thirties and forties! They say your 30s are the new 20s. Glad you liked the post!
Hey, Julie!
I haven’t read the book you mentioned, but it totally makes sense. My husband hustled hard and worked hard in his twenties and it paid off. I personally wish I was more “out there” rather than going to work and coming home every night.
I’m happy, though, where my family is at, now that I’m in my 30’s. We both have businesses online and know that that’s the way to go!
I love your blog!! Cool that you both have online businesses. That’s a relationship goal for my husband and I for sure!!
I did a lot of experimenting and moving around in my twenties. I feel like my 30s is where the Big Growth is happening. I think there is no right or wrong way, we are on our own journeys. But I am inspired by you getting it together so early!
Thanks! I wonder what my 30s will be like if my twenties have been so goal oriented.
Genetically your 20’s would be a good time to have children. Too bad they get in the way of finances and travel. Really it is a hard call to make but you really are the only person who can decide if you “wasted” a decade of your own life. Cool article and impressive net worth your hubby must be stoked on you!
My biological clock is ticking!!! Yeah, he’s pretty pumped I’m his wife 😉
So many ways to approach this. So many different paths that took us to our twenties. As some of you mentioned, it is important to set a goal and stick to it. I’m a big believer in balance. I love the FIRE idea and I’m looking closely into it. But at the same time, I’ve seen too many people get sick in their late 30s, early 40s. People who had plans to enjoy life with what they had earned. You can die, unexpectedly, too. Who knows what the future holds. I’d be pretty pissed at myself if my life came to an end in 10 years and the only thing I had to show for was money; no experiences and the smiles that come with them. From this reflexion, I’ve established that loading my life with work and any income opportunity that didn’t bring me excitement, sense of fulfillment and joy would be out of the question.
I will also refuse to skip an opportunity to travel or to realize a dream or an experience if an opportunity shows up. Even if it means reducing the growth of my net worth because of spending or a dip in salary.
With that being said, I will definitely plan carefully to enjoy both the short-term and long-term life. I’m 24 years and for the last four years I’ve been completing my bachelor’s degree to earn a teaching license. I’m done in a few months. I was lucky to study in a country where education is cheap. I had to move out of my parents’ house and pay rent and all other associated experiences though. I traveled too. A trip overseas and a trip to the United States. I definitely didn’t mind the occasional concert,, sporting event and splurge at a restaurant. I also decided to work mostly full-time during summers and not to work during school. I ended up working on and off throughout my B.A because I bought and financed a $15,000 car. Kept the working hours relatively low. I’ve never really accounted for long-term growth of my net worth during those four years. I’ve budgeted to make sure I had enough money to pay everything, but I definitely used my credit card to bail me out for a couple months at times. While I don’t regret the experiences, if I had to do it all over, I would definitely consider having a more strict budget and keeping an eye on opportunities to grow my income. Maybe work more. Balance! Thanks to a pension from my parents’ divorce, I was able to conclude university with no credit card debt, no car loan (sold the car) and a $12,000 student loan. I think this is pretty decent. It’s a clean slate. I don’t have any assets though. I’m worth -$12,000 plus whatever couple hundred bucks is in my bank account. No emergency fund. But as I said, not too bad.
What now? The answer among most my classmates is start working, we have our teaching license. Start a job that I will most likely keep doing for the next 35 years before earning my pension? What if starting my career right away and earning a decent salary could be a springboard to saving and retiring early? Then came this. I had the opportunity to move out of the country to do a Master’s degree and teach at the college level. Full-scholarship (no school fees, no books to buy), housing and food provided, as well as health insurance. It’s a great opportunity as far as personal experience goes. Doing a master’s degree, in addition to teaching at a level above what my BA allows me to do back home is also great professionally. It opens up more work opportunities in the future. Here’s the kicker though; while I won’t have any living expenses, the salary is roughly $6,500 a year. And I will likely be tempted to explore the city and splurge on occasional trips. If I manage smartly, I might end up with some money to pay part of my student loans and a small emergency fund. Getting another job during the summer might be an option. Or perhaps another job while l I teach and study? Is that too much? Or would I be lazy not getting an extra job? Decisions decisions.
I’ve decided that I would move out of the country and live this low-income experience. I’m saying no to two years earned towards a retirement pension, as well as a $35,000 yearly salary (before taxes), not counting living expenses that I would have to take care of. But it’s easier to save up and grow an income with you know, an actual decent salary. It’s also two years where I’m not moving up the teacher’s pay scale, which eventually tops out at $78,000. It’s 2 years where my name is not moving up the teachers’ list that gives you access to the full teaching loads (which are sometimes hard to get and get you more money), while other people are getting in and moving up.
But to me that’s worth it. I’m in need of living something that takes me out of my comfort zone, that makes me discover something new. I need it mentally. I need it emotionally. I need this challenge. That’s where I’m at personally. I have to make up for lost time in those areas, money will wait. I’m not ready to give this up for a little bit more money. Nope. Doing that would mean working against my true will and envy. While I still plan to start that teaching career soon, now is not quite the time. Even if it means pushing back those productive twenties that people talk about, that foundation. I’m building a different foundation I guess. Hopefully I can make up some lost time money wise after those two years. It’s even scarier considering finances weren’t my priority for nearly the first half of my twenties.
Where do I draw the line with my spending during those two years? Do I keep the expenses completely down? Or do I moderately splurge to enjoy the experience of a new country and travel a bit? Even if it means no income growth and increasing my debt an extra couple thousands?
I’m done thinking out loud. So many aspects to consider. So many options. What do you think?
Julie, thanks so much for this article. I am at the total opposite of the spectrum from you as to how I chose to spend my 20s but very similar to you, I have often wondered if I wasted that decade. I have lived in 4 different countries (including Thailand for a year! It is amazing!) and traveled to over 30 others. My money did not go to toward retirement savings, but toward an insane (probably excessive) amount of travel, food, adventure, and experiences that I will never forget.
My friendships, relationships, the sheer amount that you learn about yourself when you move abroad or travel alone, and the fact that I will forever have a place that feels like a second home (Istanbul) is all a result of these somewhat irresponsible decisions, and I cannot regret any of that or feel like it is “a waste”.
But I did wake up to a harsh financial reality when I came back to Canada at 27 to pursue a graduate degree (and take on more debt – woo!) and seriously questioned my decisions. But I think rebelwithaplan made an amazing point – it is all about the approach. I also met loads of people especially in Southeast Asia that were aimlessly roaming for months, sometimes years on end – for them, it almost seemed like that time doesn’t count. But I still spent my 20s abroad, yes spending a little too recklessly, but also building capital. I got my teaching degree before I moved abroad so I could teach at international schools, which usually pay significantly more than ESL schools. In fact, at many of them you can save 20-30K a year, or if you are a couple, you can save a whole salary (thank you, tax-free income and schools that cover all your living expenses). While I didn’t work in places that afforded that kind of savings potential, I still saved quite a bit and paid off 18K in student debt while I was abroad. I have been back in Canada for over 2 years now (with a brief 4 month stint in Kuala Lumpur – I really can’t seem to help it!) and am continuing to build a rewarding and lucrative career. And you better believe I am throwing all my money at my retirement and tax-free accounts now.
Thanks for sharing your perspectives and experiences and I still may check out that book even though 30 is looming!
I love this post. I think so many can relate. First off, I’m super impressed by all you did in your twenties and think that the “YOLO” twenties mentality is honestly, often a mistake. Perhaps more important than the actual amount of money you saved in your twenties, you built money saving HABITS. Personally, I think that’s the most important part of your twenties: building responsible and smart habits. With that as my goal, or north star (as you put it, and I love that!), I was able to both hunker down and focus on my career and spend 4 months abroad in Thailand during my twenties. I haven’t paid off my loans as fast as I would’ve liked (though I’m trying!), but my time abroad helped me improve my career and still build good habits.
I bet your 30s will have awesome things in store! And hey! You’re not even 30 yet! Keep killing it.
I wish someone would have told me to not worry so much. Like seriously so many kids come out of college just so worried. It’s all good. It will be okay. I was just talking to a family friend who is 21, she’s so full of energy and full of just pure potential. I told her to slow down chill out enjoy the breeze and enjoy every conversation. I told her say yes to as much as you can, but don’t question your intuition because it’s probably right. Kids are just so damn serious these days – I was like sure a career is import and law school is a fine decision – but experience as much as you can. Make mistakes. The mistakes are important and some are really beautiful and open doors. No matter what you think it will be like and you’ll be like it will be different. So take it easy, oh and open a Roth 🙂
Your twenties are like, the exact opposite of a waste. I’m totes jelly you’ve had all these amazing experiences (um OLYMPICS HELLO!) Not to mention the whole super awesome career, husband, and dog! Also – you’ve still got time left!
Haha I know I always round up! I’m aging myself! Thanks for the kind words. You’re right – the dog and great husband thing is a success 🙂
A wise man once said, “life is not about the destination but the journey”. It’s important to enjoy life no matter what age cohort your in, but it’s also about planning for that next phase of your journey should you make it. I wouldn’t recommend living like a monk but as someone in their mid thirties I can tell you my financial choices in my 20s have made life in my thirties a heck of alot easier. It’s all about balance.
Good to know! The sacrifices are worth it!
A fellow blogger recently recommended Meg’s book to me, and I kinda wish I’d heard of it before age 28!
I feel like I (as I do with most things) walked the middle of the road. I took 6 months off to travel and it was fantastic. And then I came back and settled down and bought a house and got 2 dogs. I’m not trying to climb the corporate ladder and I don’t want to- nor do I think I would be good at it. I guess I’m really after balance (my lifelong quest!) to make good money, without too much stress, while still loving or very much liking my work, and enjoying my life outside of work. I totally admire the beasting types like you who are set to retire in their 30s and can’t lie, sometimes I think I should have strived for that path!
It’s not too late! Although I admire your thoughts about pace of life. I have gray hairs already from all the stress. I can chill out a little but more.
Is it too late if i came across your blog and realized the truth at age 29? I have a BA in general business admins and aspiring to get a CPA license. By age 31 i will be making 30 k/year at an international company and later on i will make much more income when i get promoted. Is it too late? am i going to suffer in my thirties? or will i enjoy life like the rest of the people who commented here? am i screwed? technically i wasn’t really in “beast mode” in my twenties. Please tell me asap.
I think it’s better to start late than never. If you are in your thirties and get going on this stuff now, you’re still ahead of the majority of the population. Best of luck!
I go back and forth on this all the time. My wife and I got married at 21, and I started working full-time as a firefighter in my last year of college. I was tied down to my job before I was ever able to experience any post graduation freedom. We were, however, able to knock out our student loans shortly after graduating because of our jobs though.
Would I go back and change anything? Only if I could take my current knowledge with me!
I’m a big fan of the Rascal Flatts song God Bless the Broken Road! I would never go back in time and change anything because it led me to where I’m at today. Sounds like you two were beast mode straight out of the gate! Props!
Cool article! I thought about the question already even before reading your article. Three years ago, when I was 18, it was a tough choice to plan the deciding decade. The path I took implied many sacrifices and few free time. I know it will pay off eventually. The benefits are very obvious when I compare my (financial) capacities to people in my age category. I’m a big supporter of the “living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t”. Most of my friends will graduate, rent a couple of years to save for a home, go live on their own, have a family and hustle to pay off the mortgage. They just can’t save up a decent stash to get the investments rolling (if they even have some knowledge about it at all). The investing path does not always seem the most adventurous and exciting one, but I’m convinced it is the best choice long-term.
You can’t have both the options and benefits. I don’t regret my choice. It brought me great benefits financially wise, I got to know myself in many sights and acquired skills that only few formations can offer. Of course it is a decision everyone needs to make for himself.
I am 29 and just read this post and realized the truth. i have wasted 6 years of my twenties. I have a BA in general business administration though. I graduated in 2011. I still haven’t saved any decent money yet. But i am planning to study to acquire my CPA license and at age 31 i will start making (30k/ year) and much more when i get promoted a couple of years later. Is it too late for me to start this plan at 29? am i screwed? Am i going to suffer in my 30s? or with this plan i will have great thirties like the rest of the people who commented here?